13
BILLY: I was so busy thinking, I got lost. I've been trying to remember
something I was supposed to do, but I forgot.
CAPTAIN: Whatever it was, it isn't important now, Billy. Why don't you
head back to the crash site and see what's salvageable from the
Mango.
BILLY: Aye, aye, Captain! (Billy heads off stage)
SOPHIE: (frustrated) The cruise of a lifetime … celebrate Christmas on
the biggest cruise ship in the Caribbean … the "Yuletide!"
MASON: One minute we're singing Christmas carols on a cruise ship
with thousands of people, the next we get on a tiny boat and get
shipwrecked.
OLIVIA: It's all my fault. I was the one who saw the brochure … (pulls a
soggy brochure out of her pocket and reads) "The fabulous
charter yacht, the S.S. Mango, will take you and your ten lucky
companions on a shopping excursion to Christmas Island
you'll remember forever."
LOGAN: You gotta give 'em credit. They nailed the last part.
(Pause as sadness reaches a peak.)
JESSICA: (Hopelessly optimistic, and too cheery) Now, hey there you sad
little rain clouds! Cheer up! Looks like we've got a bad case of
the Mondays!
EMMA: (deadpan) It's Friday.
JESSICA: (makes baby talk) Who are all these sad widdle people?
MASON: Who are you?
JESSICA: (laughs) You know who I am! I'm Jessica! The Cruise Director
on the Yuletide! I have the privilege of ensuring everyone has a
super-duper wonderful time on their cruise!
OLIVIA: Well Jessica, the first part, shopping on Christmas Island was
great, but the second part, the shipwreck … not so much.
JESSICA: But now you're getting a super-wonderful, free tour of a
primitive island!