SCENE 2
(At the conclusion of the song, we hear blizzard sounds outside.)
SOUNDFX – "Blizzard"
SAM: How wonderful! Snow on Christmas Eve!
HUMBUG: That's a blizzard, Boss … could be a problem.
BOB: (to Carole) So, you've seen the looms and the weaving machines
where we make the yarn and knit the cloth, and the sewing
machines where we put them all together. What do you think
so far?
CAROLE: I think that poor sheep was terrified. (pause) Mr. Cratchit …
BOB: Crochet.
CAROLE: How do you know when a sweater is truly ugly? Or how ugly it
is?
BOB: Good question. We are able to calibrate how ugly a sweater is
by comparing it to a sweater considered to be the ugliest
Christmas sweater ever. It was found at the turn of the 19
th
century. We keep it preserved. It's a masterpiece.
(Bob calls to a worker offstage.)
BOB: Bruno! The ugly sweater. Bring it.
BRUNO: (offstage) The ugly sweater? Are you sure?
BOB: Bring it!
(Bruno enters carrying a small antique trunk. The top of the trunk
is closed. Bruno wears huge fireproof gloves and small welder's
goggles for protection. Bob hands a similar pair of goggles to
Carole as Bruno arrives. Two workers come forward to hold the
trunk as Bob unlatches several latches and dons huge welder's
gloves.)
BOB: You'll need to wear these goggles, Carole. Everyone, avert
your eyes!
18
